An Unexpected Adventure Crack fic Version
by EveryRoseHasTheirThorns
Summary: Oneshot - Basically what it says in the title. Sorry I had to make this. Rated 'cause I'm paranoid.


**Here's a completely random crackfic remake of my story, An Unexpected Adventure. What could go wrong? A lot. Sorry in advance.**

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><p>It was a stormy night in Gravity Falls and the Mystery twins, Dipper and Mabel were searching for random Supernatural creatures.<p>

They were talking and joking around a lot and after a while, they decided to head back to their Summer home the Mystery Shack owned by their Great Uncle (Grunkle) Stanford (Stan) Pines.

They were just about to leave the forest when they heard an unexpected scream. Before the twins could figure out what was going on, something dropped on top of Dipper knocking him to the ground.

"Ahhhhh!" Dipper yelped like a girl.

The thing started moving and made some kind of groaning sound.

"Zombie! Get it off me! Get it off me!" Dipper started weeping like a baby.

"Mabel began screaming and picked up a stick. Then, she started wacking the thing over the head until it rolled off of her brother.

Dipper shot up and got whiplash. "Ahhh!" He screeched.

Mabel looked at what she'd attacked and realised it was an ordinary girl who now had multiple cuts and bruises on her forehead.

"Whoops!" She exclaimed, "Well I'll go get Soos!"

She skipped away humming a tune.

On her way, she tripped over a rock and cartwheeled all the way to the Shack. As she landed, she was flat on her back in a daze. "I see stars!" She yelled at the sky. A body got in the way.

"What the-"

"Hi hambone."

Mabel sat up. "Soos! Why did you do that! I was looking at the beautiful night sky while I had the chance!"

"Okay."

She punched him in the belly which made him fall over. "You only get one chance!" She stood up and started jumping on his belly. "You. Only. Get. One. Chance!" She said with each bounce. Then she jumped off and Soos stood up. "Anyway, there's some girl in the forest who I hit with a stick LIKE A BOSS! She might be dead."

"Seems Legit." Soos replied. He teleported away.

Mabel pranced around for a moment before he teleported back with the Mystery Machine.

"Wrong vehicle Soos."

"Okay." He teleported away.

He teleported back with the Mystery Cart.

"Wrong vehicle Soos."

"Okay." He teleported away.

This continued until he teleported back with the Mystery Cart.

When this happened, Mabel hopped in and Soos drove over to where Dipper and the girl were.

Soos got out the cart and inspected the body.

"Well, it's a girl."

"No duh Soos." Dipper said and wacked him over the head with a stick knocking him unconscious.

"ONWARDS AOSHIMA!" Mabel screeched before pushing the cart's pedal. She ran over the girl's body. "Whoops!" She hopped out the cart and skipped over to the back of it. She dragged the body out from under vehicle.

"Well, I think she's dead."

"No duh Mabel." Dipper said and wacked her over the head with a stick knocking her unconscious. He then dragged the girl's body back to the Mystery Shack were Stan was waiting outside.

"Hi Stan."

"Trying to despose of a body?"

"Yeah."

"Need help?"

"Yeah."

"Well let's ask Sheriff Blubbs."

"Yeah."

They went inside leaving the body behind. Sheriff Blubbs and Deputy Durland were there staring intensely at the Merchandise mezmerized.

"Blubbs."

"Hi Mr Pines. Dipper."

"Hi, how do you dispose of a body really well?"

"Good question. The best place would be in a dumpster. Cops never look in dumpsters."

"Thanks bye!" Dipper and Stan walked out the shack.

When they were out of earshot, Blubbs got out a walky talkie and spoke into it. "I'd like to report some shady business."

"Yeah?" The voice on the other end said, "What is it?"

"I think one of the customers here at the Mystery Shack is stealing merchandise. What do I do?"

"What do you mean 'what do I do'? Hit them with a stick for crying out loud! Goodbye."

"Bye." Blubbs pocketed the walky talkie and got out a stick. He creeped up behind the customer and wacked him over the head knocking him unconscious.

While this had been happening, Dipper and Stan had dragged the body to the back of the Mystery Shack where there was a dumpster.

"On three."

"One." (Swing)

"Two." (Swing)

"Three!" (Drop) Stan let go of the body, picked up Dipper and threw him in the dumpster. The he threw in the girl's body and shut the lid.

"Know you can finally get a girlfriend Dipper! Good luck!" Stan walked away whistling while Dipper tried flirting with the body. When she didn't respond, he decided to sleep.

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><p>The next morning, Dipper was let out of the dumpster and both Mabel and Soos returned conscious to the shack.<p>

The four were sitting in the living room watching Ducktective when the temperature suddenly dropped.

"Well I'm going to hibernate." Stan said and was about to exit the room when a ghost randomly appeared in front of his face frightening the life out of him. Literally.

"One down and about 7 billion to go. I'm on a roll." The ghost said.

"Who the heck are you?" Dipper questioned it.

"My name's Dani, short for Danielle, and I'm the ghost of that girl you murdered.

"KILL IT WITH FIRE!" Mabel screamed and passed out.

"What did I do Dani, short for Danielle, and I'm the ghost of that girl you murdered?"

"My name's Dani!"

"But you sai-"

"That doesn't matter!" She yelled almost bursting her lungs. Wait...

"What you did, was give Mabel the weapon to kill me!"

"How do you know Mabel's name? And what weapon?"

"I know all of your names because everyone knows their killers names. And the weapon was the Mystery Machine!"

"Wrong vehicle Dani."

"Oh. The weapon was the Mystery Cart!"

"Wrong vehicle Dani."

This continued until Dani said Mystery Cart.

"So what are you doing here Dani?" Dipper asked

"I'm here to get revenge!"

Silence. "Okay."

Suddenly, Wendy walked in and saw Dani. " 'Sup."

" 'Sup." Dani replied.

Wendy nodded and walked out the room.

Dani then blew up the Mystery Shack and went to space were she blew up the Planet which ended up backfiring and blowing up the universe and that's how the Big Bang happened.

The End...For them, not us.

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><p><strong>o.0 what the heck did I just create. KILL IT WITH FIRE!<strong>

**Any repetition or "mistakes" were intentional. Unless you see a spelling error, because that was totally _un_intentional.**

**So, um, bye.**

_**~EveryRoseHasTheirThorns**_

**I'm so so sorry. BTW, the next chapter of the original will be up tomorrow. ;)**


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